Been there, done that, got the baby!

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Been there, done that, got the baby!

One big kahuna I have learnt (the good old fashioned tried and tested way) is that getting stuck in victimhood is common, and the biggest staller of happiness – well basically life.

So what do I mean by this? Can you see yourself in the following bollocks:

  • life is hard, they don’t like me, work sucks, I don’t have time, I can’t change my relationships, if things were different I would be happier, more successful, have better relationships, feel better!

We have all dabbled in this negative downward spiral talk and I for one can definitely claim a few – potentially a number of Oscar performances.

Something that is now so passionately engrained in my heart is that at any given time you can CHOOSE to STOP and START OVER! I have been there, done that and got the baby!

This is such a simple process yet something we all find so damn hard. Why? Because our ego likes to be stubborn, drama fuelled, to have people feel sorry for us, be stagnant and remain complacent and play the poor me, I’m not good enough or I’m too busy cards… it’s unhealthy.

The turning point (and something I work with my clients on) is finding your THING! That inner passionate, feisty, don’t mess with me I’m on a mission, I will do whatever it takes THING. Hear it, feel it and let that THING fill your veins and heart. This is when CHANGE happens.

When the feeling of having the ‘THING’ outweighs the feeling of being complacent, stuck and unhappy – magic happens. I promise, it’s that easy and that powerful.

For me, it started with infertility. I wanted to be a mum more than anything, more than partying, more than letting toxic people run the show, more than shoddy thoughts and actions, more than the need to play victim and blame others and situations for why I wasn’t able to conceive, more than feeling continuously high strung, anxious and overwhelmed by the daily grind.

Something shifted when I got real with what I wanted and why. The THING became stronger, I felt it, it grew fast, and it took over. . I was off. What I did next is a separate blog post – or just click here to get a snapshot.

So my challenge to you:

Take some time out from your day and follow these three steps:

  1. Reflect on what you REALLY want. What is not currently working?
  2. Take notice of your dialogue. Your words depict your headspace with a flow on affect to your reality. It doesn’t matter if these words are communicated out loud or quietly as inner chatter. BOTH can be nurturing and transformational or toxic and crippling.
  3. Choose – do you want to stay complacent or go after what you REALLY want?

If you want some support – join a tribe of inspiring women (you being one of them) on my 6 week online program here!

To your health and happiness always xx

About the Author:

Tarryn Bellingham is corporate health and wellness coach and a yoga and mindfulness teacher.

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