My tips for dealing with difficult people

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My tips for dealing with difficult people

The clichéd line ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ is perfectly fitting when dealing with difficult people and situations. Because, guess what ladies – it really is all about you! Instigator or not, you do hold the power. Your choice is twofold; are you going to accept or reject this negativity in your life and will your reactions make you sink or swim?

The common challenge: getting sucked into other people’s drama. What may seem like support and comfort towards others, can actually be your unconscious attempt to keep drama in your life. This negative vortex sucks you in, swirls your round, covers you in anger, resentment, bitterness, self -comparison, fear, anxiety, loss of identity, victimhood or sadness.

How do you know if you are a drama junkie? Look at your friends, situations and community – what have you chosen to surround yourself with? Time to upgrade your life?

It gets complex when these difficult people and situations are unavoidable– think family, work and obligations. This is when my toolkit becomes your ally. Believe me, without these tools I would not be running my own business, have conceived my baby daughter, thrive in a blended family dynamic and have a rocking marriage. I want to help you bounce back faster, make better decisions and live a life you love.

My sanity toolkit:

  1. Reflect! Mirror mirror on the wall – what do I see in them?
    We are all love. What taints our inner beauty, is our shoddy beliefs and choices. When someone is outwardly mean or nasty or difficult or just blatantly pissing you off, it’s always something about them that resonates with you. Notice what fears come to the surface. This is a beautiful opportunity for personal growth.
  2.  Compassion – the get out of jail free card
    Compassion sets you free. It puts out the inner fire. Having compassion does not mean you condone their behaviour. Difficult people are not happy people. They are struggling. Compassion allows you to extract yourself from their drama and move on.
  3. Drama – where energy goes attention flow
    When you bitch and moan about others and point out their flaws, you brew up an energetic field of more drama. Tune in with yourself. If something feels off, STOP, reposition your inner dialogue and start over. If a situation feels too overwhelming repeat this affirmation: In every moment of every day, I can start over.
  4. Boundaries – does it fit with you?
    Power is a beautiful thing – it’s a choice. Take ownership for what you want in your life. Nobody has control over you. If a person or situation does not resonate with your core values – walk away. It’s important to have a checklist of what values hold strong for you. This becomes your filter.
  5. Communication – be brave and speak up
    Sometimes a simple conversation is all it takes. Success lies within your reactions. Communicate with the above toolkit is tow: compassion, boundaries,  focused energy and understanding. If you jump in guns blazing without doing the work first – it won’t be successful.

Remember ladies: Better decisions, better outcomes, better life xx

About the Author:

Tarryn Bellingham is corporate health and wellness coach and a yoga and mindfulness teacher.

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